I’m a junior, and I really thought that I would have had it figured out by now.

I don’t think I had unrealistic expectations for myself as a freshman, but I really thought I would be better at this whole school thing. I won’t bore you with my GPA or class rank, because there are just so many more important things I have learned I am no good at either.

Firstly, there are always pencil shavings in my backpack. (Like always)

I did not make the amount of friends I thought I would have. I consider myself a social person, but in three years I have not even successfully befriended those who I already knew from my middle school. I did not become popular, and the only time a cheerleader talked to me was to copy my homework.

I am not (yet) a tennis prodigy.

I did not develop an amazing fashion sense, or become a makeup wizard, I have not improved significantly my health. I never missing an opportunity to step in a locker room puddle, and I still can’t do more than five consecutive push ups.

I walk out to the wrong parking lot looking for my car at least once a week.

I have lost important documents and spilled food on worksheets, I miss deadlines and re-state the same sentence five times to make an essay longer. Some days I come home and realize that I did not retain a single piece of information.

I still do not practice positive stress management techniques.

I did not learn how to look cool at a school dance, and despite my resolution every year to talk to boys I did not have a date for my junior prom. I’m in French 3 and can not remember the number that is my age in French.

So no, I have not checked all the boxes on my High School checklist, won awards for outstanding performance or succeeded far beyond the expectations of me. I have not mastered High school, and by most accounts, I have failed.

My one redeeming quality is that I have loved every minute of it.

My teachers are smart and quirky and interesting, I have been able to serve with the biggest club at Arapahoe through Kiwanis. I have embraced the freedom of driving myself to school everyday and taking classes I feel will prepare me for college. I got to see the boy cheers three times, and have been screamed at by the Wild Warrior Women just as many times. I have been blown away by the spirit days and have had months where I wore more costumes than actual clothes. I have learned the importance of simple kindness (mainly free food in class), and read books that changed the way I saw the world. The stress and deadlines made me feel like I was important and what I was doing really mattered, I stayed after school a few times for debate, and a few times for ultimate Frisbee, and a few times even got a study room.I made art and had it shown in the hallway, I played with flashlights at the bottom of the pool for scuba.

I have one more year of this, and I don’t think I will become a master at it, but in trying hopefully I can add to the memories that I have made so far at this brilliant and beautiful school.