In the past year everything in my life changed unmeasurably. That might sound cliche, and it is, but in all honesty if myself from March 2020 met my current self, I would be practically unrecognizable.

2020 was the biggest transitional period of my life just because I finally got to discover myself, explore my interests, and become a person that I wanted to be. My freshman year felt like a blur of conformity and self hatred. I found myself going about my day not wanting to be judged or seem like a weirdo. And while that is a very common mindset among many people, it truly hurt my image of myself.

 So over the summer I lost and gained friends, realized it’s so much better not to care, and I came out (yay). I went into the new school year so much more confident in myself. I was able to look in the mirror and truly know and like the person I was seeing. That was the best feeling ever.

I finally pursued my interests, I became serious about writing music and obsess over listening to it. I found out that I love old lady clothes and looking part hermit part hippie.

 I learned it’s better to enjoy what you love and not so much what your friends love. I learned how powerful opening up is, especially about sexuality. I learned that friendships do not last forever even when you think they do, and you can always see what kind of people they are when things get tough. I learned that I hate online school with all of my being.

Learning to love and recognize yourself is so important. You don’t have to love yourself all the time but finding a place or time when you do is eye opening.

Through a year of suffering I gave myself a chance to become who I wanted to be. But in all 2020 became a year of learning and exploration that was the worst in the best ways.