‘Revenge of the Sith’

Tried so hard, but it missed the mark…

Niko Pavletic, Film Critic

Since I’m very original I’m going to waste my time rewatching and reviewing all 9 main saga Star Wars movies in order of release.  Now the only real reason I’m doing this is that I’m familiar with most of them and it is good practice for future reviews on other and better movies.  Now I’m not really a big fan of Star Wars and I’m not a Star Wars hater my view on the franchise is neutral even though they’re some of the first films I’ve ever seen.  Now for these reviews, certain sections in some of the reviews will have spoilers as for a lot of these movies I need to list an example for some of my points even if it’s a spoiler, but I will put a spoiler warning before talking about the said spoiler.  Enjoy my nonsensical rambling and praising (mostly rambling). 

 

Revenge of the Sith (2005)

 

Rating: Pg-13

 

Runtime:2 Hours 26 Minutes

 

Genre: Action Adventure

 

Director: George Lucas

 

Main Cast:

 

Hayden Christensen-Anakin Skywalker

 

Ewan McGregor-Obi-Wan Kenobi

 

Natalie Portman-Padme Amidala

 

Ian McDiarmid-Palpatine

 

Welcome to my review of the final chapter in the prequel trilogy.  This is the last one and then my suffering ends for a little while.  I’m really questioning myself on why I’m doing this because no one’s actually reading these reviews.  But nonetheless, I’m over halfway through the Star Wars reviews so that’s great news.  Now episode 3 is part of the prequels so it automatically sucks.  I have to give more detail on why it sucks?  Damn, I don’t want to talk about these movies anymore!  Well for starters episode 3 is definitely the best out of the prequel trilogy that’s not a hard question to answer, BUT it is still a really bad movie just not as bad.  It suffers from the same problems as the other prequels, but this time it’s a little better.  There are actually two good characters this time, the effects are pretty good despite all the CGI, and the plot doesn’t go in four different directions.  But the plot is weak despite being straightforward, a lot of the acting is awful, the script is bad, the movie introduces even more dumb characters, the movie makes already dumb characters even dumber, and so forth.  Also, this is the first PG-13 Star Wars movie so to all those kids under thirteen you are forbidden from reading this review.  But I have no interest in spending that much time on this intro so I’m going to jump right into this plot so buckle your seatbelts because this movie is a roller coaster of insanity. 

 

Ok time for the plot analysis which I always spend way too much time on.  So after Anakin, and Obi-Wan rescues Palpatine from Count Dooku, Palpatine begins to turn Anakin over to the dark side, and after he does Anakin and Palpatine destroy the Jedi and separatists as Obi-Wan and Yoda make a desperate attempt to stop the return of the sith.

 

So act number one is believe it or not and this will shock you, but it’s actually not bad.  It’s literally the only good part of the movie and prequels trilogy in general.  The first act revolves around Anakin and Obi-Wan rescuing Chancellor Palpatine from Count Dooku and General Grievous as they kidnapped him and put him on their capital ship in the middle of a giant battle in space.  This act is the only consistently good part of the trilogy as it’s the only time these movies actually felt like they were Star Wars movies.  It’s also the only time Obi-Wan and Anakin actually act like friends so that’s a plus as well.  So the film opens up in the middle of this giant space battle and we see the two Jedi starfighters fly into frame.  This whole sequence where they’re in the ship is pretty good.  It has a lot of fun action although this first act is not flawless.  It suffers from two major problems.  And the first one is present right from the start.  We can see George is desperately trying to make Anakin look like a good guy because he uses some obvious backtracking.  In episode 2 Anakin is plain up evil, but in this opening sequence he’s doing good deeds and it comes off as very forced because he never acts like this again.  But back to the main plot.  They crash in the hanger of the capital ship and cut battle droids to shreds.  They then proceed to get into an elevator in which we witness some really stiff and awkward “comedy.”  It’s not really funny, but it’s also not cringey it’s just confusing and made me say “was I supposed to laugh there?”  But once they do find Palpatine we see Count Dooku, and our two Jedi have a lightsaber fight, which is miles ahead of the lightsaber fight in episode 2.  So Anakin disarms Count Dooku, and Palpatine tells Anakin to kill him, and since Count Dooku knocked Obi-Wan out he isn’t able to stop Anakin.  Since Anakin’s an idiot in this film he decapitates Dooku without questioning himself or Palpatine at all considering Dooku was an unarmed man.  And despite this scene being decent, it raises another problem with this whole first act.  It’s tonally inconsistent.  You go from awkward slapstick comedy to intense space battle, to a really dark beheading.  It doesn’t work and it wouldn’t be this way if George didn’t introduce so many villains.  Every movie in this trilogy introduces two new villains and then George has to kill them off because they weren’t in the original trilogy.  And in this case, it does hurt the first act quite a bit because it muddles to tone.  So Grievous (a new villain) captures the Jedi, and instead of just killing them in the hall he brings them up to the bridge because Grievous is the stupidest villain in the whole saga.  To no one’s surprise, they break free really easily and start a brawl.  Grievous escapes using an escape pod, and the ship begins to crash down into Coruscant’s atmosphere.  The Jedi manage to land the front half of the giant capital ship on this conveniently placed runway and the first act ends.  Overall this act is like a solid 7/10 on its own, but it does suffer from some major issues, but now the enjoyable part of the movie is over so now it’s back to talking about terrible boring plotlines.

 

The second act is not so fun.  After the fairly enjoyable first act, the movie is honestly just as bad as the other two with a few minor exceptions.  So just like episode 2, the second act is split into two plot lines.  The first one is Obi-Wa tracking Grievous down to the planet Utapau, and the second is Palpatine slowly trying to convert Anakin over to the dark side.  Neither of these are good because they’re both handled terribly.  So I’ll go over the Grievous fight first because it’s not that important and I just want to get it out of the way.  So with the clone wars almost over and the Separatists on the brink of defeat the separatist council is hiding out on a remote planet under the protection of General Grievous.  When Obi-Wan confronts Grievous ALONE surrounded by hundreds of battle droids, Grievous shows us how dumb he really is.  Instead of just commanding the battle droids to shoot Obi-Wan because there are too many of them for Obi-Wan to defend himself Grievous instead chooses to fight Obi-Wan himself and he pulls out four lightsabers.  Bro I swear Grievous only exists so George could earn a few bucks selling action figures to kids because he is a walking breathing toy.  So shortly after their battle begins Obi-Wan quickly disarms Grievous of all four lightsabers just as the clones arrive.  Grievous makes an escape on the giant hamster wheel and Obi-Wan follows on this dinosaur lizard.  A chase inssues and this chases eventually leads to Grievous’s private hanger.  Obi-Wan shoots Grievous in the chest and Grievous dies after only having ten minutes of screentime.  Man, I swear I just speedran that because I don’t think I’ve ever gotten through a part in the plot segment that quickly.  But there really isn’t much happening besides action in the whole segment so that’s probably why I talked about it in such a short time.  The reason why this sequence sucks is because it’s all filler.  It doesn’t end up mattering much as Grievous was only in the movie to sell Star Wars toys, and so Obi-Wan wasn’t at the Jedi temple when it falls under attack.  Also, the lightsaber fight sucks.  The chase is alright but the fight itself is awful it’s just Grievous getting disarmed in the first five seconds of the fight as well as awkward zoom-ins on their faces.  But that’s plotline A and there really isn’t much happening.

 

Plotline B is a lot more important than A and that’s why I wanted to get the less important one out of the way first.  B, is Palpatine converting Anakin over to the dark side.  Some things to mention is Yoda is off on another planet under separatist attack with his clone battalion, and the Jedi council asked Anakin to spy on Palpatine.  The reason the second bit of information I gave you is important is because Palpatine is a sith lord and he knows the council told Anakin this information.  Also, there’s almost no more cringey romance dialogue anymore besides from one scene at the beginning of the second act.  Anakin goes to an opera of some sort that Palpatine invited him to.  And another piece of information is just like in episode 2 with Anakin’s mother Anakin is getting premonitions of Padme’s death in childbirth because she is pregnant with Luke and Leia.  Palpatine is putting these images in his mind using the force so he has a reason to convince Anakin to join the dark side.  Also, Anakin is mad the Jedi council didn’t make him a Jedi master so Palpatine uses that knowledge too.  So in this scene, Palpatine tells Anakin a sith legend about Darth Plagueis a sith so powerful he could save others from death.  Of course, since Anakin is concerned about Padme dying he listens, but here is the first scenario in which Anakin is a moron.  Anakin doesn’t question the act that Palpatine knows a sith legend, and instead just goes along with it like an idiot.  Palpatine is dropping hints left and right throughout this entire act that he is a sith lord and Anakin the clown can’t take a hint.  Palpatine has to flat out tell Anakin that he is the sith lord they’ve been looking for this whole time.  Anakin then reports Palpatine over to Mace Windu.  As Mace Windu and three other Jedi go to Palpatine’s office to “arrest” him there is this one great scene of Anakin contemplating wheater he is going to get involved in Palpatine’s arrest.  And this scene is just him starting off across the city, and staring back is Padme, and they don’t know it but they are both staring at each other, and without saying a word WE KNOW EXACTLY WHAT THEY’RE THINKING!  Finally, there is something subtle in these films it’s one of the things I’ve wanted this whole time, but unfortunately, it’s too late because we’re over halfway through the third film in the trilogy and the movies aren’t subtle before or after this scene.  So instead of arresting Palpatine in public so if he attacks the Jedi people will know he’s a sith lord, they arrest him in his private office on like the top floor of a skyscraper.  So the Jedi pull their lightsabers out and Palpatine attacks them.  He kills everyone except for Mace Windu instantly because half of them were looking away and didn’t even have their lightsabers in a guard position.  So we then get this really really awful fight in which the choreography looks really goofy and Ian McDiarmid is making these ridiculous faces, and it’s overall just bad.  So Windu disarms Palpatine and has him in a position to kill him just as Anakin runs into the room.  Palpatine instantly tries to convince Anakin he can save his wife and that that Jedi are evil, and Mace Windu is trying to snape Anakin back to reality.  So Anakin the idiot believes Palpatine’s obvious lies and cuts Windu’s hand off, which allows Palpatine to kill Windu.  And now Anakin despite being good five minutes ago is completely evil and doesn’t question anything he’s doing.  He completely supports Palpatine now despite being skeptical despite not being sure less than five minutes ago.  So the second act ends in the most prequel way possible because these movies hate thinking things through.

 

Act number three.  The final act of the whole trilogy ends awfully because it’s a Star Wars prequel.  The act opens up with Palpatine executing “Order 66” which makes all the clone troopers turn on their Jedi and, well kill them.  So that exact thing just happens and all the Jedi are betrayed and the only ones that survive are Obi-Wan and Yoda.  And this entire scene tries too hard to be sad, but I really don’t care, maybe it’s because I’m really mean and insensitive but this movie never gave people a reason to care about what’s happening so I don’t care about the fall of the Jedi.  At the same time, Anakin is leading a clone battalion into the Jedi temple and they start the Jedi purge.  And in this segment Anakin literally executes the younglings also known as the Jedi kids.  And this is just disturbing with no reason and really makes Darth Vader evil.  He’s not cool, or intimidating, he’s now just evil, and any sort of respectability I had for the villain is now gone.  So Yoda and Obi-Wan make their way back to the Jedi temple and defeat the remaining clones there, Palpatine officially makes the first galactic empire, and Anakin is on the lava planet Mustafar killing them remaining separatist leaders.  So now we have our climax, Yoda is fighting Palpatine, and Anakin is fighting Obi-Wan, but a few things happen before this.  Anakin chokes his pregnant wife because he gets really mad, and then proceeds to yell at Obi-Wan about how Obi-Wan is evil and about how the Jedi were always planning to take over even though that’s exactly what his new master is doing.  So they start fighting, and the fight just goes on, and it keeps going, it doesn’t stop, they went from fighting on the ground to literally singing on ropes (I’m not kidding) and the fight doesn’t stop, oh and what’s this?  Now they’re floating down the river on robots and the fight won’t stop, and it doesn’t help that the.  But it finally does because Obi-Wan jumps on a hill and gains “the high ground”, so when Anakin jumps up as well Obi-Wan dismembers him.  And then we can at least see someone in this film is doing a good job because Ewan McGregor puts up a very good performance.  Also, I don’t think it’s necessary for me to talk about the Yoda fight because if you read my Episode 2 review you will understand my problem with Yoda fighting.  So Palpatine finds Anakin burned on the side of a hill and puts him in the Darth Vader suit where Anakin can say one more awful line that being the infamous awful “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”  Padme gives birth to Luke and Leia and then just dies?  She just decides to die, I’m serious she just loses the will to live.  Obi-Wan and Yoda go into exile and Leia and Luke are delivered to two separate families.  The prequel trilogy is over and I hate myself for doing this and I still have to talk about the characters?  Well lucky for me they are almost the exact same as in the last movie so maybe I can speed through the rest of this review, and I’m serious I’m going to talk about the good guys in one paragraph and the bad guys in the other. 

 

Anakin Skywalker goes under good guy because he starts out the saga as a good guy and ends as one.  In this movie, Hayden still has to perform awful lines.  Anakin is also the biggest idiot in the world, he is given multiple hints Palpatine is the Sith lord but doesn’t understand until Palpatine flat out has to tell him he’s evil, and then Anakin just changes ideologies instantly despite believing differently only five minutes before, not to mention he is even more sinister here.  Obi-Wan is one of the only good characters in the whole trilogy and by that I mean episodes 2 and 3.  He is acted good doesn’t have that many bad lines is a nice wholesome guy who seems fun to be around, it’s a shame he was placed in such awful movies.  And Padme is even worse here because she doesn’t do anything during the whole movie she just sits around and delivers even more bad acting and dialogue, but to be fair she was pregnant so that did prevent her from actually doing anything, but she’s still a bad character!

 

The villains.  Palpatine is pretty good.  He’s acted really well, only a few cringey lines, I like how manipulative he is to Anakin, and overall is the only good villain in the entire trilogy.  And Grevious is ridiculous.  He’s only in the movie for merchandise, his name is comical I mean Grevious sounds too much like grievance, and he doesn’t do anything besides being in the movie so Obi-Wan isn’t at the temple during the purge.  

 

The review is over and so is this trilogy, the worst is now behind me.  You could probably tell I lost all enthusiasm and interest in doing this and that’s because I have, but I’m doing it anyway.  I don’t even think the music and effects deserved to be talked about here because I’m just going to be saying the same thing I always say.  But with this incredibly short review, I’m going to give episode 3 a 5/10.