Dear boys sitting behind me at the winter pep assembly,
I am sorry that you were tired and cranky on Jan. 23. I really am. I am also sorry that while you were tired and cranky you were corralled into an auditorium to sit through a school assembly that was almost an hour of loud noises, high spirits, and all-around confusion. I am sorry for the headaches that the loud noises and flashing lights probably gave you, the cold shoulder I regarded you with when you asked what the teacher was announcing, the hostile glares from those around you, and the humidity in the crowded gym.
But complaining about the cheerleaders was no way to express your anger. No matter how terrible your day was. In fact, here is a list of reasons why cheerleaders are some of the best people in school.
– They practice long and hard.
– Not only can they perform these incredible routines, which many of us can not, but they stay together throughout the whole thing.
– Have you ever tried to be even remotely flexible?
– Lots of people complain about cheers just like you were. They deserve credit for keeping their heads held high.
– Cheerleaders are usually portrayed poorly by the media, for no apparent reason other than it is a common cliche, which can get tiring very quickly.
– I would like to see you try to hold someone up above your head. It is scary and tough.
– I would also like to see you try and stand on someone else’s hands without falling.
– Sure, there were small mistakes, but you had to be searching for them to see them. Which you obviously were.
– Who doesn’t make mistakes?
– Their recovery from said mistakes was impeccable. They kept the routine going and didn’t pause once they made sure that no one was hurt.
– They have to be peppy and look excited when cheering, even if they are having the worst day ever.
– I can’t pull off a somersault on a good day, much less a full out flip. Can you?
– It is terrible to complain about any group of people at all just to make your buddy laugh. No matter who. Please stop.
The very annoyed person sitting in front of you