I am an upperclassmen. There’s no hiding from it, denying it or avoiding it now because the first week of school hit me like a battering ram, and now, I can say that I am a junior.

Being at Arapahoe has changed me so much in the past two years, everything in and out of my life seems to operate with Arapahoe as its headquarters. My friends, my classes, my mental health, my habits and my persona dramatically fluctuated from freshman to sophomore year, and it feels as though that was all to prepare me for now.

I want to say that I’ve reached a stable place for myself because of what’s happened. I want to say that no more change needs to occur. I mean, I’m an upperclassmen. I must’ve figured it out by now, right? But then, the past two years is two years out of four. I’m literally only half way there, and the idea that there will be a different Megan to come out of the next years is incomprehensible.

When I was younger, a freshman figuring out her place, I embraced change. My future at Arapahoe was awkwardly unknown and I was unsure. So I let the change come and chisel me into something new, smooth my ridges and refine my jagged edges until a defined person emerged.

Now, what? I’m afraid I don’t know how to grow anymore, as a student, athlete, friend or person. How does one keep growing, changing, when she seems to be content with what she’s got? And how does one feel content while simultaneously growing?

The future has got a plan for me. It has to, but I just hope that I won’t fight it all that much.

I am a nostalgic person, and I hold onto the past and memories like treasure. It is now August, so when May comes tumbling around the corner of 2019, let’s hope I can look back at these words and chuckle at my fear of change because I’ll be reminiscing in all the memories of the year that makes me the person I will be.