The day has finally come, the day that Jake Ott bursts onto the scene as a blogger. A well refined skill that has been sharpened through hours of scrolling and skimming through blogs by some of Barstool’s finest. So here we are. Let’s talk hair.

Group 1: Flow

The flow group was one of the harder groups to cut down to a small handful as there is an abundance of flow across the football, soccer, tennis, and golf teams. The golf team’s leading flow guy is Caleb Busta. The kid has a lot of hair and it looks great coming out of that AHS Golf hat. Unfortunately we never got to see Busta’s hair in its prime. Back in 4th grade Caleb had hair down below the shoulders and I think a campaign needs to be started to bring it back. Moving onto the football portion, Cade Segura has arguably the best flow in the school. Those luscious blonde locks are battle-hardened on and off the field, not to mention that Segura is a force on both sides on the ball as well as special teams. Soccer’s hair star is Noah Carl. Carl’s hair is borderline godly. I’d really like to know what kind of shampoo and conditioner that man uses because he really has something special going on. Coconut maybe?

Honorable mentions: Jack Tickle, Patrick Haas

Group 2: Clean Cut

The clean cut look is an age old classic. Prehistoric times excluded, clean cut hair has been a staple in society since the beginning of time. It takes a trained eye to find a closely trimmed head that stands apart from the rest. A prime example of this kind of hair is Freshman soccer star, Caleb Ballard. Ballard rocks a next level fade (looks like a zero fade to me but no big deal). The defining factor of that hair is the sea of dirty blonde lettuce that waves and crashes like the pacific. Another individual who keeps it simple is QB1 himself, Kevin Lukasiewicz. Kevin has maybe the most stereotypical cut on planet earth. The kind of cut that you’d receive if you walked into your local great clips and asked to look as normal as possible. Lukasiewicz stands out from the crowd purely because of how consistent his hair is. Day in and day out, you know exactly what you’re going to get out of our starting quarterback.

Honorable mention: Jay Wolff

Group 3: Wild Cards

The gentleman who are fortunate enough to be thrown under the umbrella of best wildcard hair might be some of the most creative individuals within the friendly confines of AHS. This group is slightly larger than the two previous purely because of numbers. I could write a novel on the wild card hairstyles but I decided to trim it down to the top three. To begin we have Senior Tight End/Linebacker, Devin Luedke (#spearguy). Devin balls out in a mullet that resembles Niagara Falls. Luedke looks like a deal closer from the front but once those curls begin to cascade out of his football helmet, that’s when he really means business. Next up we have Spencer Cobb, starting goalkeeper for the varsity soccer team. I really don’t know how to describe his hair but it is really something. When Cobb is wearing all black with his contrasting, long, blonde hair it brings a certain warmth to your heart. Rounding out the wild card group is Jalen Thomas with his Odell Beckham-esque curls. Jalen has been a leading receiver on the varsity football team since he was just a freshman and there is no way that his success is not directly correlated to his hair.

Honorable Mention: Cameron Gail