4th & 18: The Official (and Undoubtedly Unbiased) Viewing Guide for Broncos vs. Chargers

Brian Heissenbuttel, Managing Editor

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The time has finally come for the first matchup of the year between the San Diego Chargers and the Denver Broncos. The game kicks off at 6:25 p.m. on Thursday, Oct. 23 at Sports Authority Field at Mile High. The average sports fan will be tracking statistics such as Demaryius Thomas’ receiving yards, Philip Rivers’ passer rating, and the turnover differential.

However, there are some rare statistics that can only be tracked by games in which the viewer repeats a certain action every time something occurs in a game. As Colorado is the healthiest state in America, I am of course talking about exercise games, where statistics are measured in push-ups, sit-ups and other exercises for the viewer.

For this special event, here is the “4th & 18: Official (and Undoubtedly Unbiased) Viewing Guide and Workout Game Plan” for the Broncos vs. Chargers game.

  • Whenever Peyton Manning yells “Omaha,” do 5 push-ups.
  • For every turnover on a kickoff, do 10 sit-ups.
  • When Peyton gets knocked down in the backfield, recover from the brief heart attack then do 10 push-ups.
  • If a kicker misses an extra point, do 15 sit-ups.
  • For every hilarious fake punt fail, do 25 sit-ups.
  • When the Chargers inevitably fumble in the red zone, do 20 push-ups.
  • If a player sustains an injury from a scoring celebration, do 50 push-ups.
  • If and when Philip Rivers cries, run one mile.

Hopefully this plan can accompany the game well. Who knows, maybe following this could result in losing a little weight or putting on a bit of muscle as the Broncos duke it out at Mile High Stadium.

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